Sunday, June 23, 2013

An Unexpected Journey

Where to start? Up is down, down is up. In the dark of space there really is no up or down but then, this is not a post about space at all. It's also the first post in over two months. One of my many gaps in posting here but this time with good reason. I've moved and by moving I don't mean to a new blog but a new home and it was very much unexpected. It's not just that I've moved but that my life has taken quite a turn in a direction, onto a path, never looked for or considered.

Several months ago, November to be specific our local librarian referred a family of homeschoolers my way for an astronomy session. He cheerfully told me that they'd recently come out of Christianity and suggested that they were very interested in astronomy. I happily obliged and we arranged to meet one Saturday evening for a look at Jupiter and a few other objects. It went well and from there a friendship began to build. A few chats here and there over the next few months led to my inviting Kaleesha to our Geek Parade, a weekly discussion group. She began attending the discussions in January and as the group began transitioning from general science discussions to a more astronomy focused group she happily followed along. Many of our indoor meetings transitioned to outdoor viewing sessions and she often showed up with two or three of her seven children.

As our face to face conversations got longer so to did our online chats and before long we'd become good friends. Sometime in February or March I started to see evidence of problems in her marriage. Apparently there were many and they were nothing new. In April, another milestone: Saturn. Kaleesha stayed late one night with the kids and we were lost in conversation. We noticed the time and as she was getting ready to go I realized Saturn was up so we had a look. As always, being around to show someone their first view of Saturn is a fantastic experience. We said our good byes. It was a few days later that our conversations grew a bit more intense as her troubles at home increased. It was increasingly obvious that she was moving towards ending her marriage.

A few weeks later her marriage was ended. Not officially, but in the way that matters most. She asked her husband to move out and informed him of her intentions to divorce. He resisted at first but not for long. Suffice it to say, he'd made the choice to leave the marriage long ago so the parting of ways, once she decided, came quickly.

As her friend I was in the thick of it all. The build-up to the separation as well as the days that followed. Then there was a day that she came to me with no kids. We walked and talked and she cried a good bit. She cried on my shoulder and I held her. Then a little later, after she'd calmed and we got back to talking, she looked up and asked: "Can I kiss you." I was surprised but not that surprised. I said yes and a new chapter was started for both of us.

In some circumstances I would be more cautious and would have thought that she needed time after the ending of her marriage before moving on. But in truth her marriage had ended long ago and she was only now getting around to dealing with it. So things began to move fairly quickly as the nature of our friendship changed into something more. I'll stop there and get to writing on the next post. I'm sure you see where this is going.

 

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

With friends like you she doesn't need any enemy's. You sound too happy about the whole breakup.

Denny Henke said...

Sure wish you'd leave a name "anonymous" of course that might mean owning your opinion.

Perhaps it's not clear in the post as I didn't go into the full history but this breakup was well underway before I entered the scene. I'm fairly certain that anyone actually informed would agree that the marriage, for all practical purposes, had already ended. The vast majority of Kaleesha's family and friends have been very supportive of her divorce and our relationship. That's not to say they are happy with the dissolution of a marriage and the disruption and pain that come with it. But they understand where she was at with the relationship and what she needed to do. I'll add that at no point did I encourage the break-up nor was I waiting on the sidelines for a chance to jump in. Hardly. What I was was a friend that was willing to talk and listen.

But I guess you know better. Please do share more of your wisdom.

Kaleesha Williams said...

Eh, well, there's one in every crowd. Now that that's out of the way...

Denny's comment is spot on. I would say this whole thing is quite accurate. Well captured, as always.