We. Just. Don't. Get. It.
We go on about our business and pretend nothing is wrong. But pretending does not change reality. Back to the point of why I sit alone tonight. While I may love my family out of obligation, I do not like the way they live their lives... and that goes for most of what I have seen of Americans. Perhaps it's not my right to judge, that's one way to frame it. Perhaps I'm being a selfish, judgmental, arrogant bastard. So be it.
How is it that you can have children and look them in the eye? Do you tell them its going to be okay? What other lies do you tell yourself and them so that you can bear each day. And what will you do when the day comes (and yes, it will be much sooner than you think) that you have to look them in the eye and tell them you are sorry?
I look around and I see supposed adults that act nothing of the sort. Where have all the adults gone? Just a bunch of irresponsible, gotta have my fun and entertainment teenagers. It's okay to be a teenager when you are a teenager. But when you are an adult, when you begin having children, perhaps it's time to grow up?
I cannot bear to look you in the face today. Is that harsh? Perhaps. But it is the truth. I cannot bear to look at your children whom you supposedly love. Perhaps I just don't understand love because I don't have any children... I've been told that before. It doesn't matter. You'll continue to do what you want to do. You will refuse to take any responsibility for your "life style". You'll continue to claim that you'd do anything for your children and that what you do on a daily basis is for your children. I think that's just a convenient cover-up and in the end your children will suffer greatly. So keep living without thought or concern beyond your next purchase or home improvement. Run those mowers, mini-vans, and SUVS. Shop till you drop. Keep telling yourself how you have no choice.
Keep telling yourself you have no choice.
But don't try to tell me because my ears won't be there as often. I'd rather be alone and sane. Perhaps I'm a coward but I cannot bear to watch anymore... certainly not as often. It's like looking at a car wreck and it hurts my brain. So if you don't see me around, you know why. You can take it personally because it is personal.
One last thing. Someone recently told me that she feels guilty when she's around me. I've heard that many times before and here's my reply. Don't feel guilty around me. This is not about me. Let me say that again, this is not about me. This is about you and your children or your grandchildren, you and your choices. So yes, please do feel guilty, you probably should. But it's not about me. This is about you and your choices. Own it. Look it straight in it's face and own it. But my guess is you won't. You'll shrug your shoulders and walk away. You'll think to yourself, "Denny sure does have some problems."
But do remember, you do have choices. Every single day you have choices. Every. Single. Day.
Here's yet another article that the vast majority of the population will ignore. This one from ScienceDaily, Feedback Loops In Global Climate Change Point To A Very Hot 21st Century:
Studies have shown that global climate change can set-off positive feedback loops in nature which amplify warming and cooling trends. Now, researchers with the Lawrence Berkeley National Laboratory (Berkeley Lab) and the University of California at Berkeley have been able to quantify the feedback implied by past increases in natural carbon dioxide and methane gas levels. Their results point to global temperatures at the end of this century that may be significantly higher than current climate models are predicting.
Using as a source the Vostok ice core, which provides information about glacial-interglacial cycles over hundreds of thousands of years, the researchers were able to estimate the amounts of carbon dioxide and methane, two of the principal greenhouse gases, that were released into the atmosphere in response to past global warming trends. Combining their estimates with standard climate model assumptions, they calculated how much these rising concentration levels caused global temperatures to climb, further increasing carbon dioxide and methane emissions, and so on.