Tuesday, February 08, 2005

The Shithouse-Crazy Cowboy

Imagine you are the parent of a 5 year old child. Would you trust them with an armed gun? Now I ask this question because yesterday I got to thinking about roles and relationships. Think of the American people as one entity and the government (federal, state, local) as the other. In this scenario, who's the parent and the child?

Yeah, as I said yesterday, perhaps the best tactic for fighting Bush and Co. is to just let them run the country into the ground. Seriously. The U.S. has become the empire, the bringer of violence and the citizens have given away the reigns of power (or never had them in the first place). I've said it before that the U.S. must be stopped and that it would likely have to be an external force to do it. As terrible as it is on the inside the conditions are not intense enough that the people would dare do anything. The majority of those opposed to Bush are Liberals and still put their hope in the Democratic party. They still believe that the system works, just that it needs a change of ruling party. Support for a third party is still not strong enough and with Dean as the chair of the DNC you can bet that liberals and progressives will rally to the Democrats in 2008.

The U.S. has become a child, armed to the teeth but with no parent. So I'm hoping that the world community will unite to impose sanctions on the U.S. That combined with the current president's policies should do the trick.

In any case, back to the original point, this post over at Screw You Guys, I'm Going Home! had me rolling on the floor The Shithouse-Crazy Cowboy Strikes Again:

You steamy, slimy, dripping, stinky chunk of bloody diarrhea!!! You scheming, smarmy, stupid, spoiled, pecksnifferous, moronic, evil, hateful, white supremacist, piggish, patriarchal, space-wasting douchebag!!!

You, your VP, and your entire heinous Cabinet have your own private, flaming cesspool with extra maggots awaiting you in Hell.

Who the FUCK do you think you are? Where the FUCK do you think you get off bankrupting your own country? What divine power do you think gives you the right to spend our money this way???

The budget you proposed today will increase our federal deficit by $42 billion over the next five years. I strongly suspect that you never paid a single tax dollar your entire life before you became President, and you won't pay any after. Well yeehaw! Let the green river flow to the Pentagon and the oil companies, and the working class can foot the bill. That sounds like a dang ole, rootin tootin, chicken lickin' good time, pardner!

Forty-eight different education programs get the axe, including drug abuse counseling. Grants to communities hiring police officers - gone! Amtrak subsidies for those pesky po' folk that can't afford to buy the black gold your family sells - gone! And while we're at it, let's cut back on Medicaid spending. After all, everyone knows that our Consteetution don't say a cotton-pickin thing about no Jesus-given right to health care. Praise the Lord!

Student loans? Who needs 'em! We's gonna have us some school vouchers. Dem lil' wippersnappers can have they Daddies pay for they's higher learnin'. I knows that's what they's do, because my Daddy done paid for mine! An' if you'ns cain't afford none, it don't mean shit, because college ain't much use no how! Hell, I cain't even remember what I did those seven years. I think I may have been a cheerleader or somethin' like that. And just look at me now! I'm the President of the Yoo-nited States! It don't get no better'n that!

Slashing farmers' payments ain't gonna be no big thang. I don' need no money from the guv'ment for my farmin', and I's got me a hy-ooge ranch down in Texas. We call it the Western White House, because we's all white down thar!

Now, here's a weird one. Veterans' medical services. We're gonna get the fat trimmed off of that pork chop. Hey, aren't you a veteran, Mr. Bush? Didn't I see you in one of those suit thingies a couple years back? And aren't a lot of those guys you sent to Iraq coming back with fewer arms and legs than they had when they left? Oh, hell. They can move to Canada, I s'pose.

So tell us something, Dubya. If all these federal programs are getting cut, where in Sam Hill is the giant deficit coming from? Oh, that's right! Tax cuts for the rich, $100 billion for Iraq and Afghanistan this year, an additional $419 billion for the Pentagon, and untold riches for the Homeland Security Department, because Lord knows those guys can never be too rich or too effective!

And the pièce de résistance, $74 billion over the next decade to encourage low-income people to buy health insurance. Cuz sheeeeit, their employers is already payin them they sal'ry. They's already missin' work if they get sick. Now their boss's gotta pay the doctor bills too? That don't make no sense. Just rob us blind, why don't you! Dang lazy poor folk. Always tryin' to steal what we rich folk work mighty hard for! If the labor people don't like that deal, then they don't have to work at the Wal-Mart. This is a free country, after all. That's what you keep sending them soldiers oversees for, to protect our freedom.

I'm a war President! Those dirty A-rabs hate freedom! Filthy, no-good, stinkin' . . . now, what was I talkin' bout again? Oh, yeah. It's like I told those high-fallutin' reporters after my big impo'tant Cabinet meetin' today. "It's a budget that focuses on results. The taxpayers of America don't want us spending our money into something that's not achieving results."

For once, we agree. I hope Congress decides to can your ass, Dubya.


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